Notebook of Ghosts

Although there may be other variations, I am going to share two types of dumb suppers I have come across in my research. First, I will briefly cover a supper in which the dead are the guests of honor. In the second supper, the guest of honor is your future husband. Today, I will focus on the latter.

Dumb Supper: The Past 

My first introduction to dumb suppers was as a Samhain (Sow-wen) ritual. Samhain, which falls around Halloween, celebrates the end of harvest season and welcomes the darker half of the year. It is also believed to be a time when the veil is thinning between Earth and the afterlife, so it is an opportune time to commune with the dead. One way to do that is through a dumb supper. 

A dumb supper is a supper held in complete silence. Plates of food (offerings) are set for the ancestors, and their favorite foods might be made. The living enjoy their meals in complete silence. No conversation, just eating. 

Dumb Supper: The Future

On my blog, I have written about how it was once popular to use Halloween as an opportunity to summon future lovers.  The dumb supper is another ritual in this category. According to folklorist Wayland D. Hand, the dumb supper has roots in English love divination, and America perpetuated the custom in the 20th century, especially in rural regions (Atlas Obscura). Dumb suppers disappeared by the 1950s in the United States, most likely due to the shifted focus to children on Halloween. Further, women had more control over their life choices, so those outdated rituals were no longer necessary (Atlas Obscura). 

It was popular to host such events near Halloween, but I found accounts throughout the year. Most often planned by women, dumb suppers involved making and having a meal in silence.  Everything was done backwards. The meal started with desserts and ended with dinner rolls. Guests walked backwards to the table. Additional settings and chairs were placed for future husbands. Best case scenario, your future husband showed up. Worst case scenario(s): 

If a girl is destined to live alone, however, her coffin will come In and occupy her chair. Each man will leave a gift beside his plate for his wife-to-be. But, unless she throws the gift after him as he leaves, he will kill her with the gift when they are wed. I have talked with two ladies who once upon a time set a dumb supper. Although each heard strange and weird sounds, neither saw their intended mates. A frightened person broke the spell before the husbands-to-be and coffins had time to appear. (Brian, para. 5)

From the Newspaper Archives

Interested in the idea of dumb suppers as divination, I decided to search for “dumb supper” in the newspaper archives and found many entries in the society pages about prominent families hosting dumb suppers. Below are three interesting examples I came across. 

Unhappy Man of the House

In 1921, a Miss Pearl Brown entertained a few young women with a dumb supper. Such an event was described in The Ada Evening News of Ada, Oklahoma. Unfortunately, no future husbands showed up, just a grumpy dad. 

The girls decided that they would try it again as they did not want to be doomed to the life of an old maid. When they made known their decision of trying this affair again R.L., the man of the house, spoke up and said that the next time that they kept him awake all night there would be a great big man appear which they would not be very glad to see. (The Ada Evening News)

Dumb Supper Advice Column 

In a 1923 advice column in the The Sacramento Star, a youth (“Just Chums”) asked Miss Grey the best way to host a dumb supper. In regards to the menu and service, Miss Grey suggested the following: 

Celery, crackers, soup and hard candies are just a few suggestions of the menu items that might afford amusement. She who serve the meal might wear a placard bearing the words “dumb waiter.” On the table you might muffle a bell and when the dumb waiter is needed summon her with the “dumb bell.”

She also suggested that activities such as charades, shadow games, and pantomimes should follow the dinner. 

Ghost Bed Time 

In the example below from 1908, young women were invited to Mrs. Moore’s home to eat a meal with eight ghosts (the article didn’t elaborated what this meant). After the silent meal, the women and ghosts were invited to the parlor for dance and gaiety until “an hour even when ghosts are supposed to be in” (Webb City Register). 

Closing: A Dumb Supper Gone Wrong

I thought I would close with an interesting folktale from folklorist Paul B. Frazier about a dumb supper that predicted a murder.

Two teenage girls held a dumb supper in an abandoned house on a stormy night, hoping to see their future husbands. The two hopeless romantics finished their dinner right before midnight. At midnight, the door flew open, and a man entered with an empty coffin trailing behind him. 

The man dropped a pocket knife he carried. One of the girls picked it up and placed it in her apron pocket. The man, without speaking, sat next to this girl.

The empty coffin moved to the remaining empty chair.

The man silently ate and soon left, never speaking. The coffin followed close behind.

A few years later, the girl sitting next to the coffin died single. The young woman with the knife in her apron found the knife’s original owner (what are the odds): her future husband. Less than a year after their wedding, she was stabbed by her husband with that very knife. 

Sources

Brian, Corky. “The ‘Dumb Supper’,” The Tennessean, 08 Jun. 1952, p. 86. 

Ewbank, Anne. “When ‘Dumb Suppers’ Were a Halloween Love Ritual,” Atlas Obscura, 30 Oct 2018. 

Frazier, Paul B. “The Dumb Supper,” Midwest Folklore, Vol. 9, No. 2 (Summer, 1959), pp. 87-88.

The Ada Evening News, Ada, Oklahoma, 11 Dec 1920, p. 3. 

The Sacramento Star, Sacramento, California, 1 May 1923, p. 5.

Webb City Register, Webb City, Missouri, 2 Sep 1908, p. 1.